So says the soldier

So going along the lines of the last few posts, here's something I found that describes things pretty well. This one comes from the soldier's point of view... I'll have to ask Robert if he agrees at all.

Military Man's Promise:

I cannot promise you every night of my life. I cannot promise to be beside you for every difficult moment, every trial, and every hardship. In truth, I can promise you that I will not be with you for most. I will leave you at inconvenient times. Any special date to us may be tainted with the anniversary of the death of one of my friends. I will ask you to take over whatever life we have built together for months and years at a time. And I will then crash back into that life that you have used your sweat, your tears and your heartache to keep together, and try to take it back as I knew it before.

I will shut you out at times because it will be the best way for me to hold it together at that moment. I will lie to you. I will tell you I don't know things when I do. I will not always tell you where I am going, when I will be back, or who I am with. I may not call you for weeks and months and you will not be able to call me. You will ask questions that I won't answer. You will know answers to questions that you will hope you never need.

I will share things with my brothers that you will never understand. They will know things about me that you never will. They will be a support to me in some things that you cannot be. I will miss birthdays. I will miss anniversaries. I may need time to process things that seem natural to everyone else.

It will seem that someone - or something - will always take precedence over you.

I will uproot you and ask you to re-establish our family anywhere in the world, in any season, at any time - over and over again. Sand and mud will be tracked through your halls from the boots I am too tired to take off.

I will leave you when you beg me not to. I will stand at attention while you cry beside me. I will not turn my head and I will walk away. I will knowingly break your heart. And I will do it again - and again. I cannot promise you all of me. I cannot promise you much of anything.

But if you will have me, I can promise that as I march away from you, it is not without sharing your heartache. I promise you that every time I break your heart I will be breaking mine. Every time that I cannot answer you I will be protecting you. Whenever you want to call and you have no number to dial, I will be wanting to do the same. I will protect everything that we have created together with every fiber of my being while you do the same back at home. I will honor you in everything - every moment that we are apart and every moment that I am with you. I will fight harder and push further knowing that I do so for you. And I will carry you with me in everything, until my sandy boots once again sit just inside our door.

 

Reading that, some of you might say that's a terrible relationship/marriage but I also know that many of you finished reading and all you remember is the last paragraph. In the end he makes it all worth it.

 

 

You're thankful for WHAT?!

It's a little early for the holiday but I had a {Fall Party} last night and it got me in the mood. God has blessed me in numerous ways, I can't even list everything. Piggy backing off of my last post I'm going to share, with those of you who are curious, why I am thankful for a year long deployment.

 - Gain a greater reliance on God.
Robert is litterally half a world away, talk about feeling out of control, I know know I have no control it is God who is going to rule over Robert's and my life.
 - Lots of girl time.
From movie nights, to bead parties, birthday celebrations, to holidays, these women become a part of my family and I love them as sisters.
 - Sleeping spread eagle.
Yeah, a queen size bed all to myself to sleep in whichever direction or shape my heart/dreams desire.
 - Crunchy Peanut Butter.
You heard me, Robert prefers creamy to crunchy while it's not a big deal to me I get to have a year of crunchy peanut butter.
 - Finding new ways to love each other.
A kiss isn't possible, an I love you is but most of the time the expression feels like it falls short of the feelings. We get to find new ways to show each other we love them, ways we wouldn't bother with otherwise.
 - Writing letters.
Truly a lost art. I can only speak for myself but when I go to my mailbox and recoognize Robert's handwriting among bills and all the credit card applications my heart flips, spins, and jumps.
 - Domestic duties.
I continue to do them just not as often... The chili I made Wednesday lasts me until Saturday, I have enough clothes to make it 2 weeks without even looking at the laundry, dishes last longer, dusting and vacuuming are at a minimum, and I love it!
 - I gain a greater appreciation for all that Robert does.
Robert's the cook in our family, already there are nights when I'm rockin' the PB&J meals, and for the record cereal IS acceptable for dinner. Changing the oil, mowing the yard, things like that.
 - Missing his smile.
Yeah weird right, I am thankful for missing my husband's smile. Only because when I picture it in my head I feel so much joy and love, and those are definitely things to be thankful for.
 - No arguing.
By the time I get that phone call I can't be anything but happy. Robert and I haven't argued for 6 and a half months which is way longer than most civilian married couples.

Be thankful. For every morning you wake up beside them, for every "I love you," for every time they offer to drive, for every meal ready to eat when you get home, for the things they do but don't have to, for the smile they bring to your face, for the flips, spins, and jumps they give your heart. Be thankful.

I love my soldier

  As an Army wife I am asked numerous questions about my life. Some are better than others, but that's beside the point :)
  For the most part people are honestly just trying to understand the way of life that I am living. I love that people are interested and it makes me feel like they support the life Robert and I chose; however, sometimes the questions are hard to answer. A couple examples...

 - "Robert's gone, don't you miss him?"
Prime example, how do people expect me to answer this question? "No actually, I don't. He's just my husband why should I miss him?" Come on, of course I miss him. I miss him everyday he is gone, somedays are worse than others, but there are many more good days than bad.

 - "I don't know how you do it, you're so strong."
Thank you, but again how do I respond to that. I fell in love with Robert regardless of his job. In fact, the things that make him an amazing soldier, his dedication, selflessness, and leadership only made me fall harder in love with him. My life does not stop when Robert is away, God has a plan for me and I desire his plan for my life.

  Usually, the hardest part for people to grasp is how we as military wives deal with deployments. I would say that it definitely isn't for everyone, but God has been growing Robert and I long before we had ever met. God designed me to be a suitable helper for Robert from the beginning (Genesis 2:18).
  To be honest I am thankful for our life together, even if that means for a year he is away. It is so much easier for us to truly cherish our time together because we know how quickly it can be taken from us.

If We Are the Body

   I am so blessed to be able to listen to uplifting music about all around good things. My car rides are more peaceful, the day doesn't seem so hard and it just puts me in a good mood. This is how God "talks" to me. I hear a song on the radio or in church and he has a lesson in the lyrics for me.
   First it was Stronger by Mandisa, I was having a tough couple of days from not hearing from Robert in a while and I woke up one morning tired from a night of crying to turn on the radio while I jumped in the shower. The words spoke right to my heart, it was God guarding my heart and mind just as he promises (Philippians 4:6-8)
   On another occasion Blessings by Laura Story kept playing on the radio, I knew I was supposed to do something with this song but I had no idea what to do. I first brought it up to a friend who I am helping in her walk with Christ, she said it was just what she needed, it's exactly what she was going through. Awesome! God is awesome, giving me this song to give to Abi in her time of struggle. I thought that was it, but the song kept following me. God had more work for this song to do. Megan, my spiritual "mom," was having a tough time finding content with what God has planned for her life. She mentioned the song and instantly I knew this was where God wanted it, to help Megan and Abi when they needed it most.
   Lately it's been If We Are the Body by Casting Crowns. Romans 12:4-5 says, ^"For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others." I am a laborer with Christ, I am a member of the body of Christ. I'm still working on finding my specific function in the body but I have full faith that He will reveal it to me when He sees fit.
   This song presents a sense of responsibility for me personally. God most certainly doesn't need me to carry out his work but he has blessed me by allowing me to take part in it. The conviction I get from this song is that I should be doing everything in accordance with the body of Christ. Thus giving me an outward focus which allows me to love my neighbor as myself (Matthew 22:37-39) in turn allowing me to try and reach the nations as well as make disciples (Matthew 28:19-20). How different could the world be if we all just started with an outward focus? Stop trying to please myself all the time and reach out the person behind me in the Commissary line, (you know those lines are long, should have plenty of time to talk) or the guys with terrible form at the gym, (you know you've seen them) or how about Mr. Skinner who checks my ID coming onto Wheeler daily. It's a simple start, loving others, but it has already changed my life for the better. I wish to see people with Christ's eyes, so I feel the best way for me to start is to stop looking at myself.

My thoughts are all jumbled, but I hope you enjoy this song as much as I do.

oh my God!

    Sometimes all I can do is sit back and marvel. This guy, I only recently became more than an ancquaintance with, died for me. Even crazier, it was his dad that sent him to die for me. Let that marinate for a moment. Someone loved me so much that he sent his only son to die... for me, little 'ol me. How overwhelming that kind of love is. I don't know if I could ever love anyone that much. The best part is that he did it for you too.
    God has been so visibly working in my life lately, it's so joyful to see him do so much through me. I've made a friend here, who must have been heaven sent. She was/is so hungry for the Lord but hadn't really realized what to do with that hunger. God gave me the honor of giving her the milk she desired and I know he is working in her to mature her and grow her so that she can start getting in his word and pulling out the meat to satisfy her growing hunger. How great is this guy to let me take part in his work.
    Of course his work isn't always easy, but then again he never said it would be. He flat out tells us that the world will hate us (1 John 3:13, and many others) but they hate us because we do not belong to the world, we are his and his alone. I haven't come into much hate from the world or those around me... yet. But I am glad in knowing that when the hate does come on me I have God in my corner and he has prepared me to fight back with the biggest weapon, the authority given to me through Jesus Christ. God is constantly trying to grow me up so that I can be a good disciple for him, to win people for him.
    There are so many ways that God has challenged me to be better for him. The most recent is that I need to be a better steward. Everything I have is because God has given it to me, he put it out on loan and how disrespectful to waste or break or squander things given to you. I am challenged to live a more minimal lifestyle, which to me right now means not wasting money on useless items. I am doing pretty well so far, I go shopping like normal pick up items I know I don't need, then when it's time to check out I reevaluate the contents of the cart and usually spend an additional half hour putting back unnecessary items before I actually leave the store. One step at a time, eventually I won't even look at the unnecessary items. Another reason I feel convicted to spend less money is so that I can give it back to the Lord. He gave me a loan, I'm paying it back. Interest free of course because he's such a good guy like that.


"If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So that whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord."  ~Romans 14:8